may you live in interesting times

Salutations dear reader:
The title to this post is a half insult given as a wish by the Chinese. In interesting times there is much turmoil, thus the chance for a peaceful existence becomes less. You have patiently sat and listened while I ranted and raved about the condition of the society that I was born into, You have sat while I went through the destruction of my hopes and dreams. You have been diligent while I whispered the dreams I have for the attainment of a "normal" life. You have quietly pondered as I related my life's adventure visiting the different cultures of the world and achieved a form of enlightenment about how we make our lives hard by attempting to bend the rules. I have bitched about the world, the people in it and the institutions that run it and you have listened silently or left some comment about this fits into the puzzle. I am honored by your patience with me...I am indebted to you for your advice...I am touched by your faithfulness.
Lately I have spoken little of Art. If I am anything it is an artist...I have yet to make the connection between what I can do and what I feel. I settle for the connection between what I can do and what I think, big difference. Thinking allows you to notice a pattern and discover the flaw, feeling is just raw nerves. There is much to say about both approaches, which I may discuss at some time in the future.

I have always been the artist's artist. IE you can only truly appreciate what I do if you have a bit of knowledge of the craft or the thought process. The public just looks with their mouth's dropped as they experience the deluge of what they see...My shit is complex. Most of the time it goes right over the head of the normal person off the street. I cannot help myself in this regard. I do a great deal of reading and study attempting to achieve an understanding of the complex connections between things and how it all evolves into a pattern, and this bleeds into my work. I also wrestle with the un achievable. I hate to make the comparison but shall we take Einstien for instance: If you were to ask a guy on the street what exactly E=MC2 means he wouldn't be able to tell you. It has something to do with the universe...You would be right but fertilizer has to do with the universe too. It is rare when you find someone who can tell you that it means that Energy is the same as Mass traveling a the speed of light squared. Thus Energy has a weight...it isn't an invisible force that can be seen but not touched....It took light out of the hands of God and allowed us to measure and study it. I would never compare what contributions I have or may make to the world as important as Einstien's. His contributions affected the world, I'm just trying to work out my place in it. I have made a decision concerning my work. Up till now my flat work has been extremely private, extremely limited...a sort of shorthand to dump what I'm thinking about. It has meaning to me but nothing that can be latched onto...all they see is an image looking back at them -sometimes mute-or speaking a language that has some connection to Alchemy, mathematics, Greek mythology, Philosophy and science...all sorta mixed together. However in future I plan to fully realize the work. I am going to allow it to fully develop and place all the stuff in it that will unlock it. how to read the alchemy separate from the science separate from the math separate from the Philosophy. Its time. My relationship with the the world, and with this woman who has her gentle hand on my heart has led me to this conclusion. I feel its wrong to keep this stuff to myself, even if it too complex for the guy on the street. It isn't my job to make that decision, its just my job to present my findings and the keys to the doors of approach, and yes there's more then one door...the problem changes when you approach from another discipline or another direction...one has one set of problems when one attempts a frontal assault on a fortress then one has when one tries to tunnel in. So in future when looking at my work, my recent work, keep in mind everything you will need to decipher it is there...Thank you again for your attention.