Friday, June 14, 2013


I just received word that the young man I went to visit in hospice on Wed, that I had written in the last entry passed away this afternoon. We arrived around 12:30 pm, he'd had a rough night, had woke up disoriented, because his body wasn't getting enough oxygen. so they had induced a "nap". We waited for a few hours until he awoke...seems he was glad to see us, he hopped out of bed oxygen mask around his face, morphine pack on his shoulder, and set about getting busy setting up his recording equipment....he was a musician and had a few tracks that needed work on. He was happy, he was chatty, he was funny, he was the boy I remembered in the body of what appeared to be an old man...bald, swollen, eyes somewhat sunk...He knew what was ahead of him and he belief suggested that this wasn't anything to be concerned with it. He had, along with his two brothers, been delivered in the hands of yours truly along with my friends at an annual social situation, to supervise, possibly be a positive influence on, feed and give a home base to. One of the three was "creative" so he was under the impression that the world should work the way he thought it should. One was wanting to please and did anything he was told, one was quite and didn't take much on face value often innocently questioning some of the absolutes that I and my friends put forth. All three good boys, all three good men. The artist fell into the opiate trap, I delivered a form of eulogy at his memorial at the request of the one that just passed. as I reflect on it all, I find that they enriched my life more then I probably did theirs. They insisted that I be clear on my claims, they introduced alternative concepts that are usually present within the thoughts of the young...they would challenge me, sometimes blatantly, sometimes gently, as was their right. I begin to understand the reward of having children....I begin the understand the idea of why we're put here, why we do this thing called life.... My own existence will be a bit darker for this man's passing. If I had any influence on what kind of a man he became I feel honored...and he will be missed......


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