may you live in interesting times

Salutations dear reader:
The title to this post is a half insult given as a wish by the Chinese. In interesting times there is much turmoil, thus the chance for a peaceful existence becomes less. You have patiently sat and listened while I ranted and raved about the condition of the society that I was born into, You have sat while I went through the destruction of my hopes and dreams. You have been diligent while I whispered the dreams I have for the attainment of a "normal" life. You have quietly pondered as I related my life's adventure visiting the different cultures of the world and achieved a form of enlightenment about how we make our lives hard by attempting to bend the rules. I have bitched about the world, the people in it and the institutions that run it and you have listened silently or left some comment about this fits into the puzzle. I am honored by your patience with me...I am indebted to you for your advice...I am touched by your faithfulness.
Lately I have spoken little of Art. If I am anything it is an artist...I have yet to make the connection between what I can do and what I feel. I settle for the connection between what I can do and what I think, big difference. Thinking allows you to notice a pattern and discover the flaw, feeling is just raw nerves. There is much to say about both approaches, which I may discuss at some time in the future.

I have always been the artist's artist. IE you can only truly appreciate what I do if you have a bit of knowledge of the craft or the thought process. The public just looks with their mouth's dropped as they experience the deluge of what they see...My shit is complex. Most of the time it goes right over the head of the normal person off the street. I cannot help myself in this regard. I do a great deal of reading and study attempting to achieve an understanding of the complex connections between things and how it all evolves into a pattern, and this bleeds into my work. I also wrestle with the un achievable. I hate to make the comparison but shall we take Einstien for instance: If you were to ask a guy on the street what exactly E=MC2 means he wouldn't be able to tell you. It has something to do with the universe...You would be right but fertilizer has to do with the universe too. It is rare when you find someone who can tell you that it means that Energy is the same as Mass traveling a the speed of light squared. Thus Energy has a weight...it isn't an invisible force that can be seen but not touched....It took light out of the hands of God and allowed us to measure and study it. I would never compare what contributions I have or may make to the world as important as Einstien's. His contributions affected the world, I'm just trying to work out my place in it. I have made a decision concerning my work. Up till now my flat work has been extremely private, extremely limited...a sort of shorthand to dump what I'm thinking about. It has meaning to me but nothing that can be latched onto...all they see is an image looking back at them -sometimes mute-or speaking a language that has some connection to Alchemy, mathematics, Greek mythology, Philosophy and science...all sorta mixed together. However in future I plan to fully realize the work. I am going to allow it to fully develop and place all the stuff in it that will unlock it. how to read the alchemy separate from the science separate from the math separate from the Philosophy. Its time. My relationship with the the world, and with this woman who has her gentle hand on my heart has led me to this conclusion. I feel its wrong to keep this stuff to myself, even if it too complex for the guy on the street. It isn't my job to make that decision, its just my job to present my findings and the keys to the doors of approach, and yes there's more then one door...the problem changes when you approach from another discipline or another direction...one has one set of problems when one attempts a frontal assault on a fortress then one has when one tries to tunnel in. So in future when looking at my work, my recent work, keep in mind everything you will need to decipher it is there...Thank you again for your attention.

Defense attorney at the Last Judgement

salutations dear reader,
I grow increasingly weary of the human race and how it conducts itself. Everywhere I turn people act like selfish 6 year old's. I have been watching PBS and the last ditch efforts to save a few of the worlds species...There is a Chinese turtle that has exactly one male and one female left...they are hoping they'll breed, however their is no place for them to go because China's rivers are so polluted they're almost beyond hope. There's a Spanish Lynx that they think may have a grand total of 18 animals left, being bred in captivity cause their natural habitat has dwindled down to about 200 acres of Spanish flat land. Our own feral bee population is all but extinct because of a foreign bee mite that somehow made it into the system...Any bees you see are domesticated and kept by bee keepers. The list of animals that are quickly heading to oblivion grows by the day and yet people change non of their habits. The natural system is dependant on a certain amount of species to do their job, Without bees to fertilize plants, we starve. Its that simple...but instead of this being on the lips and hearts of the population of the world, We're busying fighting over abstracts and concepts.
I just received another email about the current political administration, from their opponents, who when given their chance screwed up so bad it will be remembered by history as a dark time for this country...they're fighting like children.
In the rest of the world, we have dictators demanding that we notice them or they're going to pitch a fit. We have a group of people from different philosophies fighting over turf, nothing like a rousing round of king of the hill. We have a group of people who think that they must defend the concept that the US constitution and the entire group of people responsible for it were divinely inspired by some Judea-Christian God who wants Everyone to be a christian. We have a manufacturer of automobiles who is busy back peddling because they chose to do nothing when they discovered that what it was they were building was faulty...would have cost too much to fix. Our educational system is in tatters, I have it from reliable sources that we are attempting to teach our children from books that are A.30 years out of date B. incomplete because of use and abuse from previous generations. and C. usually 4 children to a book. Unable to to make xerox copies from one to give the kids a handout because of copyright infringement and unable to bring any outside sources that might have a more contemporary take on what is being taught because of curriculum requirements. The reason...not enough money, however we seem to have enough money to pay for a guy to do the job of funding the schools that we elected somebody else to do...and yeah the person that was elected is getting paid too. We were told that the money for the state lottery would pay for the improvements and maintenance of the school...Yet somehow, as yet not explained by science, the millions taken in everyday by the lottery evaporate everyday like dry ice. We still fill our landfills with things that are perfectly functioning but we just don't want them anymore or lack the fortitude to fix them...a friend and I do breakfast every morning...a space heater was placed on the curb to be picked up by the trash. He stopped and told me to grab it. Upon examination, it needed lubrication and someone had crossed wires when putting a new plug on it. Once those two things were dealt with it ran perfectly. I raided a garbage can where I used to work and pulled out enough wood, that had been manufactured to sit under a pallet to make it easier for a fork lift to get to the pallet, to make the dozen picture frames I need to make in the next couple of days. A man who beat a puppy and set it on fire got 3 months in jail, and an additional 8 months suspended. Why? No room, because we're putting people in prison faster then we can build them. The economy is in such a mess that when my unemployment runs out in about a month, I don't know what I'm going to do. I've looked for work for a year and a half. Why? It costs less to buy a bathroom vanity made in China then it costs me for the materials to build one. Everyone denies Global warming and that the ice caps are melting, yet the weather pattern is so screwed up that the Northeast and the mid Atlantic is quite literally floating on all the water that's fallen up there. And what are we doing about this? We are busy fighting who God promised this piece of land to, We are arguing as to whether or not the head of the current administration is a socialist. We are making sure that the insurance companies that are making whirlwind profits keep their government sponsored money. We are allowing the people to make these decisions to pay themselves more money while they do less to earn it, while they campaign for re election and phone all their heavy hitter contributors to give them enough money to run again. Nothing like wanting to keep your job...except the job wasn't supposed to be a career, it was like Jury Duty, you had to do it because that was the price of living in this country...but when you were done you went back to your lives. And the people that are elected? God forbid they smoked a joint in college, God forbid they have an opinion that might question the bible, God forbid that they have some form of turmoil or lifestyle that suggests to us that they might be a flawed Human being that learned from his mistakes. God Forbid....

Yeah I know, I'm preaching to the choir. and we look at each other, shrug, and go back to our KFC in a barrel and need to finish cause "House" comes on at 8.

I have been told that I can be quite artiulate when I speak-probably cause I usually have something that I'm reading with me most of the time. I have been told that I'm the only person anybody knows that does my math in my head with a scrap piece of paper for my calculations probably because I didn't see my first calculator until I was 17. I have been told that I must have some mystical power cause I can define a problem and then resolve it. I have been told that I must be some sort of magician cause I can look into a garbage can and find whatever I need to build whatever I may want...I built my dining room chairs out of stuff that I picked out of the garbage with the exception of the one piece of plywood. Each of my chairs has a different function then just sitting in them, one turns into a small side table and waste basket, one turns into a shelf unit and storage unit, one turns into a step ladder and ironing board, one turns into a drawing/eating table....I was taught to use my mind to do all these wondrous things. I was taught how to think.

I am hoping that at the last judgement that because I have been here and seen what I've seen that I'm not asked to be a defense attorney for the human race. Trust me when I tell you, that is something you don't want either.